


Loss and Love

by SincubusMynx



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 22:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincubusMynx/pseuds/SincubusMynx
Summary: It had been several months since Aria had been appointed Inquisitor. She was the leader of the large group of men and women who fought against Corypheus and his twisted followers. After receiving a letter from her Clan, Inquisitor Aria and Commander Cullen face some troubling times.





	Loss and Love

It had been several months since Aria had been appointed Inquisitor. She was the leader of the large group of men and women who fought against Corypheus and his twisted followers. Every morning she met with her advisors; Leliana, Josephine and Cullen to go over reports from the front lines and decide on the next steps to take. Every day she would listen to the concerns of the refugees that poured in from Thedas. Every afternoon she would listen to the nobles prattle about useless gossip and every night, she lay in bed, thoughts racing and anxiety building. So many depended on her. So many lives to protect. The light from her hand would to glow a faint green then back to darkness. Being a mage, Aria had a strong connection with the Fade. When she slipped into sleep, her mind drifted into familiar settings. Replaying the events of Haven over and over. All the screams, all the pain, all the loss. Tears run down her cheeks, over her soft white vallaslin as she sleeps. So many depended on her to stay strong but in an instant, that image could be shattered. 

On a morning like any other, Aria woke to the sunrise. She groaned as she pulled herself out of bed to braid her long strawberry blonde hair back out of her face. She grabbed a nearby pitcher of cool water, dousing a cloth to scrub her face. Her crystal blue eyes were slightly bloodshot from the lack of sleep but it was easy enough to hide. She stretched wide and groaned as her muscles rebelled and attempted to coil together. “Not today.” Aria whispered forcing the muscles to stretch. While performing her morning stretches, a soft caw came from the window seal. “Ahh right on time" Aria purred as she walked towards the crow. As always, Leliana sent one of her messenger crows to let Aria know it was time for the morning meeting. Aria softly petted the top the of crows head and smiled. “I'll be down in a moment.” The crow nodded, satisfied and flew off. Pulling on her tunic, pants and boots, Aria set off downstairs for the meeting.

Through the grand hall, Aria spotted Dorian and Varric standing, huddled together near the fireplace, deep in conversation. Both looking troubled. Neither of them took many things seriously, so seeing them in such a state sent shivers down her spine. She quickened her pace, through Josie’s office and up to the grandiose solid oak doors. She paused as her hand clasped around the bronze door handle. She could hear whispers from behind the door. They sounded sharp and urgent. Goosebumps ran up and down her body. Taking a deep sigh she pushed the door open and came into the familiar room. A large wooden table stood in the middle of the room, littered with notes, reports and figurines that they used to simulate plans. Upon her entrance, the whispers stopped. Her three advisors looked toward her. Liliana stood straight up, strain written over her face. Josephine looked worried and motherly. Cullen on the other hand, look normal. His beautiful face in its calm expression. His golden eyes watching Aria’s moves carefully causing butterflies to stir in her stomach. The air with thick and heavy. Aria walked up to her normal spot at the table and said her good mornings. Each advisor mumbled back. “Inquisitor..” began Liliana slowly. “We have reports from my spies I sent to Orlais and reports from the front lines. Which would you like to see first?” She asked, almost timidly. The tension in the room was building but Aria couldn't understand why.

“Front lines first if you will Liliana.” Aria said with a smile. Cullen and Josephine shared a nervous glance. This finally struck a nerve. They knew something and were hiding it. “Come on, spit it out. We don't have all day and if the tension rises any further in here, it may well explode.” Aria said firmly, looking at each of her advisors and stopping on Cullen. His eyes burned deep into hers as he rubbed the back on his neck. Something Aria noticed he did when he was nervous or stressed. “Inquisitor, there has been....news from your clan.” He said voice straining to remain stable. Aria’s ears perked up as she stared at him..waiting. He hesitated as he glanced to Josephine, who nodded as if to say it was alright. Cullen sighed but continued. “The Keeper of your clan has sent word that their scouts had seen camps of venatori moving closer to their homes. They wish to ask aid for..” Cullen stopped abruptly as Aria a stood up so quickly, that her chair fell backwards. Her face was taught and her blood boiling. “Get your troops together. I'll gather the others, we leave in one hour.” without waiting for a response, Aria quickly left the room in search of her companions. Cullen let out a sigh. “I pray we make it in time.” He said, slowly walking towards the door. “I've already gathered troops. Please let the Inquisitor know we are ready on her signal" speaking to Leliana as he left for the front gate.

Out in the main hall, Aria’s eyes darted around, looking was her companions. Near the front, still by the fireplace, stood Dorian and Iron Bull. Aria opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted. “No time for chit chat I'm afraid.” Dorian said smoothly. “We are ready to go defend whatever swamp infested forest you used to live in.” He smile warmly as Aria’s eyes began to tear up. “That's right boss. Point me in the direction and let's go smash some skulls in" Bull said excitedly. “You guys are the best..” Aria whispered, voice strained but feeling relieved. “Cassandra is already at the gates boss. Let's get you home “ Bull said, placing his hand on her shoulders. She was always surprised by how lucky she was to have such amazing companions and friends beside her. Feeling calmer than before, Aria and her group left Skyhold towards the untamed wilds of her homeland.

Three days had passed since Aria left Skyhold. Three days of walking through snow, mud and grass. No news of her clan and no venatori to be seen. Her and her group walked quickly. Only stopped for short rests and food. Cullen lead in front, beside Aria. Tensions were high. So many questions rose in Cullen’s mind. He realized he didn't know much about the Inquisitor. He knew she grew up with a clan that focused of hunting. He knew that she was the first mage of her clan. Did she still have family there? Did she miss her home? Did she have a lover? As he walked, he let out a sigh. He never allowed himself to call her anything other then her title. He could see the momentary sadness in her eyes each time he did so. Cullen held massive respect for Aria, but was scared if he thought of her any other way then the Inquisitor, he would be in danger of falling for her. It was hard enough hearing how some of his troops spoke of her. Pining dogs, the lot of them. Every soldier he caught speaking of the Inquisitor in any manner unbefitting would be set to intensive training until they passed out from exhaustion. He hated hearing the comments because it only reminded him of his own thoughts. How her eyes shone like brilliant gems. How her red tinged golden hair looked like it floated as she walked. How her lips looked….”Cullen? Is everything alright?” Aria asked as she glanced towards him. Red blush colored his face. A mix of ecstasy and embarrassment filled him. How he loved hearing his name from her lips. He cleared his throat. “Ah..y-yes Inquisitor. I'm alright.” He said quickly, attempting to shove his thoughts back into their locked box. “How much longer before we arrive?” He asked at an attempted to change the topic. One that was noted by Dorian who snickered behind him. “Oh Commander, you certainly don't want this little trip to be over do you? You have such a fantasy view" he said not hiding his laughter. Cullen shot him a nasty glance and turned away, sulking. Aria, missing most of the intention of Dorian continued. “Yes, it's really beautiful out here. Once you get past the swamps, the green fields open up. The forest of my people should be at fields end. Maybe another hour or so.” She said with a shining smile. Cullen’s heart beat wildly against his ribs. Try as he might to hide his feelings, it was hard to deny how beautiful this woman was.

The group continued for another hour until they came upon a dense forest riddled with ancient looking tree, moss hanging like vines and rolling fog. Aria let out a sigh and smiled. “This is...was my home" memories of this place came rushing back. Though her trip down memory lane was short lived. A loud crack whipped through the air and screams came from deep within the forest. “No..” Aria breathed as her slow walk turned into a full out sprint. Her companions and Cullen chased after her but couldn't keep up. Having grown up here, Aria slipped through trees, jumped over rocks and slid through the darkness. Blood was pounding in her ears. That scream. That scream sounded like Kai. Kai was Aria’s younger sister. They grew up together and always looked out for one another. The reason Aria was at the Conclave during the explosion was because Kai had heard of a famous mage that would be attending and suggested the Aria go and see about becoming an apprentice. The girls lost their parents when they were young and Aria took over the motherly role. Trying to shield Kai from the dangers of the world. It had been months since she had seen her. Wind whipping through her hair she came into a small clearing. In the distance, she saw huts and the double hallah statues that welcomed everyone into the village stood, blazing. Ice flooded her veins. She paused momentarily, which allowed her companions to catch up. Cullen caught a glimpse of her, before she bolted again. Seeing the flames in the distance through Cullen into despair. They were too late. The group ran as fast as they could. Aria ran under the hallah statues, conjuring water to put on the flames as she ran past. Bodies or her people lay strewn about. Blood covered the ground. The crops and hallah that her clan raised, were burned and destroyed. Another loud crack whipped through the air. “Kai!” Aria shouted running towards the center of the village. 

In the middle, stood Kai who was up against a mutated venatori. She had blood pouring down her arms and legs through deep cuts. Her hair was singed and tangled. She held a pair of daggers that were laced with blood. The venatori raised a claw and let out a screech. “Kai!! DODGE!!” Aria shouted but realized too late that was a mistake. Hearing her voice, Kai turned to see that familiar voice. She saw Aria standing near the clearing. A second later, claws dug into her stomach. Time seemed to stand still. Kai’s vision of Aria grew fuzzy and dim. Blood gushed from her wound as her mind and body were trying to comprehend the pain. Cullen arrived just in time to see the scene unfold. Mortified, he quickly looked to Aria, who’s eyes had started twitching. Her body was shaking and flame and Fade matter started to form around her. Aria had lost it. Fueled by nothing but pure rage, she let out a blood curdling scream and ran towards the venatori. Her eyes unfocused, she summoned flames that coated her daggers. Screaming elvish curses, she lunged towards the beast. It removed it’s claws from Kai in time to block Aria’s attack. She didn’t care. Again she lunged. Faster and faster. She swung her daggers allowing the flames to flow over her body. Faster and faster. She lost her vision to the building rage. Dorian and the others finally caught up to see the fight. “Commander! Don’t just sit there..” Dorian shouted moving forward to join the battle, but Cullen threw out his arm to stop him. “No, Dorian. Not this time. She may not recognize friend from foe.” he stated, fear lacing his words. The woman he cared so deeply for was lost in a blind fury.

The mark on Aria’s hand started to grow a blindly brilliant green. Reacting from her pure hatred and bloodlust. Constantly being blocked, the monster raised its claw to dig into her shoulder. This was the moment. Aria lunged forward, feeling the sharp claws pierce her skin and the warm blood instantly flowing out. She pushed forward and dug her daggers deep into its chest. It let out a howling scream somewhere between monster and human. She whispered an incantation as the fire surrounded her and the twisted spawn, burning hot, until nothing was left but Aria. Her breathing was ragged. Blood dripped from her shoulder and was splattered over it. Her eyes were unfocused and hair had fallen out from it’s delicate braid. Cullen and the others watched carefully as Aria turned to face the crumpled body of Kai. It moved ever so slightly, and Aria lurched forward. Thinking the worst, Cullen jumped in front, arms spread wide trying to protect the fallen elf. Aria saw him and dropped to her knees, crawling forward towards the body. “Kai?” her voice cracked. Her throat tightened as she calm closer. Slow shallow breathing came from the body. “Please be okay. You promised me. We promised.” She reached her younger sister and held her in her arms. Tears spilled from her eyes as she saw Kai staring back at her. With a small smile she weakly grabbed Arias hand. “I’m sorry. I messed up.” with a small laugh, Kai slipped from the world. Leaving Aria alone. Sobbing and cradling her passed sister, Arias mind was breaking Her heart hurt. “Not her. Not her. Not her.” she repeated, hysterically. This time, Bull walked forward, bending on one knee and placing his hand on Aria back. “Boss, we should honor her. She fought hard to protect those she loved.” Bull could feel the small elf shaking with grief beneath his hand. Cullen chest was tight and Dorian had tears streaming down. Bull took a deep breath to steady himself. “You should honor her.” Aria weakly nodded. Still gripping onto Kai for dear life, still hoping to see her smile once more.

The following few days were a blur. The group held a small ceremony for Kai and the rest of the fallen clan on top of a hill in the middle of the forest. Aria went through the motions of the ancient burial proceedings. Her eyes blank of life. The others tried to help, but she maintained distant and stating a lie that she alone had to do it. In fact, their tradition welcomed help from others that knew or loved the fallen, but Aria couldn’t bring herself to ask. After the ceremony, Cullen and Bull set up camp at the bottom of the hill. Cullen chose to rest one more night before making the trek back to Skyhold. The night grew dark and Dorian and Bull playfully bickered over the type of dish they should prepare for dinner. Aria hid in one of the tents. Alone in the darkness. Unknown to her, Cullen stood watch outside. He knew how grief can consume a person, but he also knew you need time to grieve. Dorian called for dinner, but Aria didn’t move. Consumed in her thoughts of sister and what she could have done to prevent this. Her sorrow filled her. Her magic had failed. She had to resort on her blades. Her magic failed. Her magic was useless. She was useless. These thoughts filled her mind, beating her down, blocking out anything and anyone else. A small sliver a light appeared near the entrance of the tent. “Inquisitor..” a deep warming voice called. “Dinner is finished, would you like some stew?” Cullen asked almost in a whisper. No answer. “Inquisitor..you need food to help your strength.” Cullen stated moving closer. Again no answer. Cullen slowly walked towards Aria who was curled up, knees to her chest and head on knees in the middle of the floor. Upon being closer, he could hear faint sobbing. He got down on his knees in front of her and place his hands on her folded arms. “Aria..it wasn’t your fault.” he said softly. She shook her head but didn’t lift it up. “We left Skyhold as soon as we heard. We tried to get here in time. You tried to save her” he continued, softly running his hands up and down her arms in a attempt to comfort. She slowly lifted her head. Bloodshot tear streaked eyes peered back at him. His brows furrowed, showing his concern and worry. “Aria…” he whispered. “I couldn’t save her Cullen.” her said, voice breaking. “I couldn’t save them.” new tears streamed out as Cullen grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her back and softly brushed his hands through her hair. “You tried.” he said as her sobbing broke from her chest. He felt her body shaking and tried to hold her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried. He didn’t know how long this went on. Could have been minutes, could have been hours. Cullen softly hummed a old Fereldan tune his mother often hummed to help him and his siblings fall asleep. The sobbing eventually stopped and was replaced with soft breathing as Aria had fallen asleep. Her arms still wrapped around him and her head laying on his shoulder. Cullen absentmindedly rubbed small circles on her back while his other hand cradled her head. He felt the walls he placed up to protect him crumble. He glanced down at the sleeping face of the woman he loved. So painfully and fiercely loved. He smiled and placed a single kiss on her eyelids. “Goodnight sweet one. May the Fade give you sweet dreams.” he said, voice low and warm as he closed his eyes and laid his head upon hers.

There was a rustle outside of the tent, followed by a small sliver of light. Dorian’s shadow peered into the dark tent, seeing the pair fast asleep wrapped up against each other. Cullen, who never really got enough sleep, was passed out, still holding the sleeping elf. Dorian’s grin shined and he closed the tent and walked back towards the campfire. Iron Bull was sitting, legs crossed on a log. He looked up as Dorian returned. “So?” He asked softly. “How are they Amatus?” his voice hummed at the pet name. Dorian smiled warmly. “Exactly as they should be. Both fast asleep.” Bull sighed with relief. Dorian continued. “Though, if they stay like that, we may get to see a show once they wake up.” he said laughing to himself. He knew them both well enough to know both Cullen and Aria were incredibly nervous around each other. He knew they had feelings for each other, and took liberties to try and push them together often. He hadn’t counted on a tragic event bringing them together. Bull eyed Dorian and raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation. Dorian chuckled. “Let’s just say, if those two stay entertained when they wake, we may get to see a show.” His eyes sparkled as Bull shook his head laughing. It was late and the moon was high in the sky. No one knew what to expect or what would come next. Each person lived for the current moment and under the moon, each made a promise to live their lives the best way they can.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this one for months. Not really sure how to end it. I can't say I'm happy with how it all turned out, but I don't hate it.
> 
> Hope you guys agree! =)


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